The Veruca Salt Syndrome

14 March, 2017

Annnnd it’s that time of year again. The Biggest Loser is almost upon us and that effectively means we are about to see some “amazing” transformations in 8 weeks.

Errgh.

To their credit, this year it isn’t about a drastic focus on weight loss which means we would have a reveal show where contestants get to don sexy new clothes oh and let’s not forget the gaffer tape used to tape their excess skin. It is about transforming people of various shapes and sizes and I am somewhat glad for the format change. How they implement it remains to be seen. I will refrain from holding my breath for a completely accurate, realistic and SAFE approach for contestants. Why? Because that won’t be dramatic enough.

What ultimately shits me about this show is not the ridiculous tactics or the over the top crap the trainers pull with contestants, it is the flow on effect to the public. The idea that you can lose X amount of weight in only a short amount of time. Combined with our society’s skewed perspective of consistently seeking and expecting the easiest and quickest way to obtain things, this creates what I call “The Veruca Salt Syndrome”.

Let me be clear here.. this has nothing to do with the simply awesome and recently reformed 90’s girl rock group Veruca Salt.

I seriously wish it did though because

THEY. ARE. AWESOME.

No I am referring to that “lovely” little girl from the movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Who are we kidding here? Veruca Salt was a horrible, horrible, impatient, arrogant, selfish, horrible child. Did I mention she was horrible?

Veruca Salt had absolutely zero understanding of what effort and/or the cost that comes with obtaining her petulant and consistently undeserved whims. The frustrating relevance of this horrid fictional turd is that her attitudes and behaviours are very much alive in the fitness industry.

People want to lose weight IMMEDIATELY and they want to pay next to nothing to do so. Obviously my job is to present the facts about weight loss, educate them that it is in fact FAT LOSS that we should be seeking and that there is a set process that needs to be followed in order to achiv…

Arrrgh. STOP IT. ENOUGH.

Here is the stark truth about this. If you have spent the last 5-10 years eating poorly and not exercising, do you honestly think your 8 weeks of eating better and exercising twice a week will get you your dream body? NO – It won’t and to be BRUTALLY honest about it – you don’t deserve it either. 8 weeks of exercising does NOT completely negate years of no exercise. 8 weeks of eating less crap does NOT erase years of consuming junk food every day. It doesn’t and if you are unhappy about this rather logical fact – you need to take a step back and re-assess your direction in life and get over yourself.

This poisonous ignorance that our society has allowed to grow has to stop. Losing body fat is hard work. Fixing years of postural problems is hard work – especially if these postural situations are still occurring. Changing poor eating habits is REALLY hard work and integrating your new eating habits into a lifestyle that matches your goals is the hardest of them all. My role in this is actually to provide you with the program and direction in order to achieve it. I will make it as clear as possible and I will make it as fun as possible but there is no denying it – it will be hard work. Turning up isn’t enough.

I get it though! You want it to be quick and easy! You want it to look like this!

In a perfect world.. that would be heaps rad! And Trump wouldn’t be in the White House! Our government wouldn’t be in a permanent state of having their noses up the coal industry’s proverbial arse. There would be no such thing as cancer!

But it isn’t that way.. is it?

I won’t promise you that you will lose 2 dress sizes in 4 weeks so you can look AMAZEBALLS at a wedding you are going to.

Yes – you have that dress you want to look good in to make Tracy from school feel jealous. Doing a group fitness session and giving a piss poor effort will not get you that goal. Not even giving a fantastic effort will achieve that. You’ve left your run too late and you need to accept this. The fact that you had 2 baby showers and that you simply HAD to have the cupcakes and champagne shows that you aren’t really committed or interested in actually making change. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get serious and start. Remember that.

If you are you complaining that you haven’t seen any progress in 2 months because you have been doing PT once a week and Yoga once a week – I will flatly call you out on it

Did you take the dog for a walk twice a week like we discussed? Did you do that quick little 20 minute circuit at home that I spent 15 minutes devising and explaining to you? Oh so you didn’t? Right. The fact is that 100 minutes of activity will not counteract the daily can of Red Bull you have at 3pm because you feel tired. ESPECIALLY when I have explained that having a pre-prepared meal at that time will be so much more satisfying and beneficial to your goals. You will be given the plan. If you decide that the plan is simply too much effort to follow – you will not get the outcome you want.

Doing something does not equal getting everything

Doing one PT session or group class a week is unlikely to yield the results you want in the timeframe you want. It is my job to deliver the hard truths in order to re-calibrate your expectations. Regardless of your exercise frequency, you will have been told the plan. Doing only half of it might get you half way there – if you’re lucky. Doing three plus sessions a week and yet you continue to have donuts at morning tea, curry and rice at lunch and a can of V at 3pm? While your exercise may be bang on – your eating is not – well done – you’ve effectively sabotaged your efforts to lose body fat.

Short term pain leads to long term gain.

Yes – I get it. You’ve had a big weekend and you are tired. It’s Sunday night and you just want to relax. Yet hiding in the shadows is that reminder that you have the working week ahead of you and you know that this is where you struggle with your food. Rather than spending money on take out during the week. Have a bit more organisation and ensure that you’ve been to the shops for food and then spend an hour making dinner on a Sunday evening and make enough for your lunches that week. When you get really good, you can make 2 separate meals at once and then have more of a variety.

Yes – that might be a bit challenging. But let us be clear, it’s making 2 meals – maybe one after the other and then when you get experienced, you can do them both at once. This isn’t rocket science. When you complain that you have no time, you are effectively saying that you made no plans to make time and ultimately – if it was that important – you’d make time. #harshbutfair

In reality, if you’ve had a poor diet for 2 years, it could take just as long to get your body back to where it used to be. Exercise will definitely help with this

The important thing to consider with the above graph – that’s just one possible path and most definitely a less turbulent one at that. It is likely to be more squiggly lines and dips and troughs and batman symbols and I will concede – my Excel and MS Paint skillz only stretch so far. The bottom line is – If you are expecting results – you need to consider the bigger picture and that includes your past.

I know changing your body is hard work. I’ve been there and I’ve felt the pressures and the impatience but we have to be realistic. Years of poor choices don’t get reversed in 8 weeks and unless that quick fix attitude and impatient “I’m going to ignore the facts because having a temper tantrum is easier” approach is dropped – you aren’t going to get what you want and you will likely not like my response when you’re called out for it.

If you are planning on changing your body – come and talk to me but like with all bad and counter productive attitudes – that crap needs to go down the garbage chute.

Jon 😉

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Jon is a Metabolic Precision Transformation Specialist working from his Studio EPIC WIN PT in Newmarket, Brisbane. Follow all the fun and adventures by liking the Facebook page here

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